The Hitler Project: Pasewalk Idyll

(Inspired by Mark’s look at the boasts of Captain McCain, I offer another war hero holy wound contrivance)

The author is certain that Adolf Hitler (No middle name) was a fictional construct put   together by a joint force of British and German intelligence agents for use as a lint catcher for the evils being planned under the guise of a second world war by the Anglo/American alliance and their assets in Germany, Russia and Japan (Italy, you were never that into it, were you?)- Multiple actors played Hitler during the course of the character’s life- One was used as a spy, another as the public orator, still another as a liaison between Intelligence and the German High Command- Other actors were employed for various purposes, such as the Hitler on the review stand- Or the meet and greet Hitler for foreign dignitaries- There was a Hitler for any occasion- All that was required was the undercut hairstyle, cow lick and Chaplinesque ‘stache, so taken was the public by the trumpeted integrity and independence of the international press that sold this wanker and his three stooges, Himmler/Goering/Goebbels, as “real” people-

“Hitler’s” biography, primarily from Mein Kampf, is total bullshit, an amalgamation of falsified records and identity theft, urban legends and pure grain propaganda- It is also laden with mythical references and archetypes from the fictional German past- Mein Kampf is a committee effort and is written for people who were steeped in the pop culture detritus of the time- Hitler appealed to the early twentieth century German version of The Simpson’s Comic Book Guy-

This post is the first of at least a few examining specific claims of official history regarding this Germanic variant of a Scaramouche, or Rabelaisian lout, whose default response to life was an unfounded boast-

Hitler Gassed!

In October, 1918, Private first class/corporal Adolf Hitler (depending on how you align the German/Allied military rankings) was mustard gassed by the British force engaged in the last weeks of combat at Ypres in western Belgium- Hitler was rendered blind and was whisked away to Pasewalk in eastern Prussia to convalesce-

Here is how “Hitler” sold it in Mein Kampf:

  ” In the night from October 13 to October 14 the English
began to throw gas on the southern front of Ypres; yellow-
cross gas was being used, the effects of which were unknown
to us so far as personal experience was concerned. I was
to get to know it personally in this very night. On the
eve of October 13, on a hill south of Wervick, we had come
under a drum fire of gas shells, lasting several hours, which
continued more or less violently throughout the entire
night. Towards midnight a part of us passed out, some of
our comrades forever. Towards morning I, too, was seized
with pains which grew worse with every quarter hour, and
at seven o’clock in the morning I stumbled and tottered
rearwards with burning eyes, but taking with me my last
report in the War.
Already a few hours later the eyes had turned into
burning coals; it had become dark around me.”

Once revived, Hitler learns of Germany’s capitulation and a second bout of blindness occurs, this time of the hysterical variety- In this second blackout of sorts, Hitler has his epiphany that he alone will return Germany to former glory and commits himself to this mission forthwith- Eyesight restored, he is discharged, yadda yadda…

Where to begin? First off, a glance at the medical literature will show that the concentration of mustard gas that would cause even temporary blindness would also scar the face and any skin not immediately cleansed with at least uncontaminated water- As “Hitler” relates, there was prolonged exposure and within hours, the effects of that exposure began to manifest itself in painful symptoms, including blindness-

There is no mention in the various histories of Hitler, nor any photographic evidence, that Hitler bore scars or lesions from the attack- Therefore, he would not have been exposed sufficiently to go blind- You can’t have blindness and no blistering or scars- And that doesn’t even address the likelihood of serious respiratory damage, again something not listed in the deposit of Hitler lore-

Recently, to address this problem, some MSM sources have abandoned the mustard gas portion and claim the blindness was exclusively hysterical- But that begs several more questions- First, what was Hitler doing at Pasewalk military hospital if he wasn’t gassed? And would the rapidly collapsing German army bother to transport a hysterical private over 600 miles away from the action to dump him in a hospital because of shot nerves? Take a number Bub and we’ll call you if/when a bed is available- And one can only imagine what rickety, 19^th century style transports were left to move the seriously wounded out of harm’s way along the equally primitive roadways- The only way a backwoods hick from Austria, not even Germany, could get to that hospital is on the wings of a hack writer’s imagination-

The long and short of it is that there is no plausible explanation for this story and it is only included in Mein Kampf to sell the special revelation of Hitler’s “destiny” to alone save Germany and restore its former (fictional) glory-

This “Road to Damascus” moment is standard agitprop to sell a manufactured individual as a demi-god, a rank mandatory so as to infuse great powers of perception and iron will into a fictional character who is slated to lead singlehandedly a great race to its entitled destiny- And at that time, Weimar-time in Germany, occult and mystical embroidery on one’s CV was all the rage- While Comic Book Guy was getting wood from all the breast plated blonde warriors with the big horn sections and the loudest gods of any pantheon, the Schnapps and tea cake set of the nouveau riche and intelligentsia posers found appeal in the mystical, because, quite frankly, rigorous logic and hard core science had just left a pile of carrion from Westphalia to Saxony and so some other, any other, schematic for divining reality was welcomed to audition-

It is this kind of desperation that the mindbenders engineered that allowed such collective magical thinking to buy wholesale the myth of Hitler- Like St. Paul and his road trip, or JFK and his Missile Crisis, or Siddhartha at the river’s edge, or even Charleton Heston toasting marshmallows on Mt. Sinai, this special revelation trope exists for use on the one battlefield where the fighting never stops- The one between our ears-

Other posts in this series:

The Hitler Project: Hitler’s Sizzle Reel

The Hitler Project: Building the Crib