Bess Buzzkill

Thanks to a boatload of free publicity from Professors Natelson and Juras of the University of Montana, I and many others are now aware of the Kaimin, the campus newspaper, and more specifically of its Bess Sex column, by Bess Davis. I should probably go to the archives to find the really salacious stuff, but I’m nearly 59 years old, and I just don’t have the energy. It feels a bit creepy.

Today’s column is pretty tame, urging campus couples to use condoms, or to avoid “riding bareback”, as she calls it. That’s good advice for young couples. (It’s an “advice” column.) Other than abstention, which few take seriously, promotion of the use of condoms is good public policy.

I’m a long-time observer of the way people behave, and become shrill and annoying when I see powerful people bombing and killing weak people and stealing their stuff. It’s all part of being the youngest child in a family, sensitive to injustice. Humans are capable of all forms of depravity, and also of justifying that depravity, and of even going so far as to claim that depravity is virtuous.

That’s part of what driving the professors – the notion that depravity is taken for granted. They are Victorian in their outlook, and open talk about sex, free indulgence – it’s all depraved in their eyes.

But sex is hardly something to get upset about. Since the 1960’s and the advent of the pill, it’s become easier to have sex without consequence, and social norms have softened. Many enlightened men now understand that women enjoy sex too, and occasionally have orgasms. So I’m told. And women are more open about it now, and men are taking this openness as an invitation. In olden days a girl who openly enjoyed sex was considered either a tramp or the “town pump”; now it is now understood that even good girls have sex, and enjoy it, and want it to be safe and protected.

But some things don’t change, and the current Bess Sex column hits on an age-old theme – honesty in a committed relationship, and trust. That part, it seems, has not changed. Women still want men to be faithful, and Bess acknowledges that men are often not faithful, and urges the use of condoms. Buzzkiller.