Author Archives: Maarten Rossaert

Mackinac Machinations?

Mark’s recent post, Fake events of my lifetime, got me thinking: what news stories of the past left me feeling … unconvinced? A certain incident immediately popped into mind. Either I am an insensitive lout who is pitilessly digging up … Continue reading

Posted in The usual | 31 Comments

Ain’t Gonna Study S’mores No More

They say that rattlesnake tastes like chicken. Ostrich meat, curiously, does not. Rather, it tastes like beef, so I am told. So here’s the question for the coming weekend: What does child slavery taste like?

Posted in The usual | 15 Comments

How to Rule the World in Three Easy Rolls

I was born a nerd, and I will die a nerd. Like every nerd growing up, I was not much of an athlete.  I preferred to play board games with my best friend Thad, a fellow nerd. This was long … Continue reading

Posted in The usual | 27 Comments

Welcome to HELL (Part 1)

Silent Letters Say So Much … Someone asked me at breakfast the other day, “Does anyone pronounce the ‘l’ in yolk?  I answered: I am unaware of any dialect that sounds out the ‘l’ nowadays, but at one stage in … Continue reading

Posted in History as it is rewritten, Psyops, Thought control | 16 Comments

Avast, We Scurvy Dogs!

This essay contains medical information that might be construed as advice. It is not, but rather just long-winded opinion. Read it at your own risk. Zombies on the Brain In this piece I will proffer a novel thesis. And like every … Continue reading

Posted in Health Care, Movies, Public health, Science | 37 Comments

Our Dam Obesity Problem

The following does not constitute medical advice. It is opinion. Before you make any changes to your medications, diet, or lifestyle, be sure that the person in charge of overseeing your health care is fully informed. By the way—that person … Continue reading

Posted in Health Care, Public health, Science | 27 Comments

Little Dabs of Paint …?

Before I begin, let’s get one thing straight.  Ol’ Maarten here is all boy. Don’t you forget it … That being said … I wear makeup.  Just once a year, mind you, and it is for professional purposes only, for … Continue reading

Posted in Faces, Public hoaxes | 16 Comments

I WAS Fake News

Who am I?  Why am I here? If you, dear reader, happen to be d’un certain âge, you know what I did just there, channeling Vice-Admiral James Stockdale, the running mate of Ross Perot in 1992.  So you can rightly … Continue reading

Posted in American wilderness | 15 Comments