These, according to the Anderson Valley Advertiser, are real (compiled by Jeannie Sellers):
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
Drunk gets nine months in violin case
Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
Stud tires out
Panda mating fails; veterinarian takes over
British left waffles on Falkland Islands
Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead
Shot off woman’s leg helps Nicklaus to 66
Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
Miners refuse to work after death
Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
Killer sentenced to die for second time in ten years
Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
War dims hope for peace
Red tape holds up new bridge
Typhoon rips through cemetery, hundreds dead
Man struck by lightning faces battery charge
Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft
Kids make nutritious snacks
British union finds dwarfs in short supply
Lansing residents can drop off trees
Air head fired
Prosecutor releases probe into undersheriff
Hospitals sued by seven foot doctors
Include your children when baking cookies
Piece of Mindful 