Carnival Barkers

We suffer great indignities due to that annoying pest that drives our consumer economy – advertising. It pops up in our faces, sneaks up behind us. It’s subversive and in-your-face all at once. Broadcast TV is useless because of it – I watch very little on regular channels due to the high volume of ads. Commercial radio is a cruel joke – current ratio, so far as I can tell, is twenty minutes of ad content per hour. All of it annoying.

Ah, the marketplace. What a beautiful place, full of carnival barkers yapping in our ears. There’s no peace, no respite, unless you go to those places where you pay extra for content without ads. One such place is the movie house.

But wait! We went to a movie yesterday, and endured a full five minutes of ads before the trailers began. Advertisers love it – we’re a captive audience, and they have no shame. We can only get up and leave the theater, and few do that. Most of us just grit our teeth and endure. And advertisers know something we don’t – they know that mere exposure to ads is effective, even if we don’t like the experience. I’m a little more ad-resistant than most – I refuse to buy products whose ads are annoying. I don’t drink Coke, would never buy a Chevy, and … wait …. what’s this?

Yesterday, after the pre-trailer ads, they unleashed yet another indignity on us – a four minute music video. It was for the National Guard. Kind of funny, really, as we were at a movie that was mildly anti-war (Lions for Lambs). The ad is aimed at young men and women. They’re looking for fodder to send off to Iraq, but the video made it appear as though the Guard spends its time rescuing kids from hurricanes.

That’s the essence of advertising, by the way – lies. It lies about everything. It has to. The truth doesn’t sell. Try selling the Guard by showing a disillusioned kid in a 130 degree desert. Trying selling a Chevy when Toyota makes a superior product. Try selling a high fructose corn product based on dietary advantages, or smelly male perfume based on real female response. Try selling a sloppy hamburger with greasy fries for what they really are … crap. Doesn’t work. Advertising has to lie to be effective.

I turned to my wife about half way through the National Guard video yesterday and said “This is really pissing me off.” Doesn’t matter – advertising loses its impact as people age. I’m no longer in their demographic. They need fresh faces, kids, who grow up exposed to thousands of hours of ads, who can’t escape it at school, who, ultimately, have to fight our wars for us.

The schools have done their part. The kids are dumb and indoctrinated. The movies are merely adding the finishing touches.