Never enough

I like beer. Let’s get that out of the way. I don’t actually drink beer – I do have a sip of my wife’s beer when she partakes, but beer is carbohydrate-intensive, and so has a way of attaching itself to my gut and butt. Just out of boredom last night I watched a documentary called “The Beer Wars,” and it answered questions I had not even asked. Here’s the main one: Why is American beer so shitty? (As one guy said, American beer is like making love in a canoe, or “f***** close to water.”)

The answer is not what I would have suspected – it is not pedestrian taste. There used to be thousands of breweries in this country, most local and each having their own style and flavor. (My Dad drank Great Falls Select, made in that town.) One by one they fell by the wayside or got bought up by Anheuser-Busch, Coors and Miller. That’s a normal result of so-called “free” markets – big fish consume little fish. The other side of that coin is that in “free” markets monopolies are supposed to dissolve as the process reverses. Of course fundamentalists who believe the mythology don’t seem to care about the immense damage done by monopolies prior to dissolution, but that’s their bent. And real life is something entirely different: Once monopolies gain hold, they also take control of the mechanism that would undo them – government.*

But then, government is a large part of the problem with crappy American beer. After prohibition was repealed, the American beer market was structured to allow three tiers – brewing, distribution, and selling. Brewers are not allowed to bypass distributors. This made the middle tier an unnatural monopoly, and that allowed the big brewers to seal their control of the market. In order for a small brewer to attain some market share, it has to convince distributors to allow them access to the market. Naturally the big brewers don’t like this, and so bribe and intimidate the distributors to keep their products front and center. So little brewers have to either sell their product on-site (the “brew pub”), or go door-to-door trying to create demand for their product so that they can convince a distributor to truck their product.

There is some “market magic” going on around us right now, as craft beers are flourishing. Once you go craft, you never go back? And the big brewers are concerned. Large institutions are hard to comprehend. They are driven by investors who exert constant pressure on management to yield higher and higher returns. So big players do not look kindly on small players. They are not nice – they cannot be nice. They have to smunch competition. One would think that Anheuser-Busch, with almost 50% of the American beer market, would be content, and would not care that Dogfish Head** of Gaithersburg, Maryland, has attained maybe .001% of the market. But A-B does care, and has slapped DFH with silly lawsuits over the use of the word “punkin” and “chicory.” It’s merely a strategy to lawyer them to death.

Anhesuer-Busch cannot not do that. It’s not enough to be big. When investors are breathing down their necks, they have to churn the market and deliver ROI, quarter in quarter out. Monopoly capitalism is a tax on the human spirit. It destroys innovation and punishes creativity.

This does not answer the question of quality. Taste tests show that consumers cannot tell the difference between Coors, Miller and Budweiser beers. But Americans are brand-loyal (“I’m a Bud man!”). This is a result of advertising. Branding is part of our DNA – I am a Cincinnati Reds fan because I was branded – at a young age. Beer advertising is silly and juvenile for a reason – it is aimed at kids. The big breweries are tripping over one another to brand the kids before they reach drinking age. Anheuser-Busch has won this game. Bud Light is watery crap, as are Coors and Miller Lite. But advertising drives perceptions.

Buyer beware – there’s an organic craft beer out there, “Wild Hop” ale, and “Stone Mill” organic pale ale, both made by the “Green Valley Brewing Company” of Fairfield, CA. There is no brewery there – other than the Anheuser-Busch one. They merely created a brand and invented a brewery name to make their product appear to be a craft beer. Nowhere on the bottles do they say that it is an A-B product. I haven’t tasted them, but presume to know that given the brewer, they are shitty.

All very interesting – American monopoly capitalism gives us shitty beer, shitty coffee, shitty cell phone service, shitty internet service … all of these things are far better when done by small companies and in other places where governments have more power over investors. Monopoly capitalism sucks the joy out of life and quality out of products.

Colorado is somewhat different. Here they have a law that says that supermarkets cannot sell any brew of higher alcohol content than 3.2%, and that liquor stores cannot sell beers of less than 3.2%. Further, the law does not allow ownership of multiple liquor outlets – one per family is the rule. The result is flourishing family businesses, and perennial food fights as the two dominant grocery chains try to force the liquor stores out of business. (They say they want more consumer choice, as they try to eliminate consumer choice).***

The liquor stores have won every round in this fight. After each battle someone says “Isn’t the matter settled now?” Of course not. The word “enough” does not exist in monopoly capitalism.

And, of course, if you walk into a Colorado liquor store, you’ll see all of the usual suspects – Coors, Budweiser, taking up half the store. I asked them one time why, if they cannot sell 3.2 beer, are they selling 3.2 beer? They’re not, I was told. Coors and Budweiser make special blends with higher alcohol content to sell in Colorado liquor sores.

Never enough.
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*Free market advocates turn this on its head and say that government creates monopolies. Their answer to the problem of monopoly is to eliminate government. It just sounds awfully gosh-darned stupid to me! And I read Atlas Shrugged!
**I’ve never tasted Dogfish Head, but it is rated very high by people who rate beer. It’s too damned expensive. It is also prominently featured in the movie and at the movie’s web site, making the movie an advertising vehicle. Just so you know.
***Another outcome of this regulated market – liquor stores cannot compete with supermarkets for market share, and so must offer alternatives to shitty 3.2 beer, and so offer hundreds of craft beers, creating demand for those products. Regulations in place enhance competition and allow small players market access. Go figure, Budge.