The rules explained

Guess his age by the length of his socks
Many thanks to my friend Kevin, who tonight over dinner explained to me the rules of socks and sandals. I wear shorts all summer long, as I don’t do heat well, and it’s hard to come up with a shoe/socks/shorts combination that is tasteful.

It has to do with age. Kevin is 58, and so the rule for him is no socks with sandals ever, under any circumstances. I am 62, and so the rules are eased. I am allowed to wear anklet socks, preferably dark colored or flesh-toned, so as not to call attention to them.

That rule holds in place until age 70, at which time we are allowed to wear white socks with sandals. Shorter is better. At age 75, any length of white sock is OK.

At age 80, we are allowed to wear socks and sandals in any combination we desire, including argyle, surgical, hosiery, and even black or red socks. Indeed, this is a common sight. Young people think that old people don’t know how to dress. What young people do not grasp is the freedom of not caring how one dresses. Who is looking anyway?

85 is a tough transition, but my wife explained to me that if I am still around at that age, I’ll be wearing ‘onesies’ once more. There will be no more need for either socks or sandals.

5 thoughts on “The rules explained

  1. Thanks for the information. I am 66 and had no idea. All this time I have been wondering while some people would stare at me.

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      1. I wear sandals and socks year round. In my sandals are orthodics that I have attached with Velcro. People don’t notice.

        That droopy thong has to go! You’re losing your marbles.
        😉

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