President claims medieval right of kings

Conservatives, previously silent about President Obama’s executive orders claiming the right to arrest, detain and assassinate American citizens without due process, are up in arms today about the latest executive order. The president has invoked medieval droit du seigneur, or right of first night with a maiden, for any marriage happening within forty-nine states, except Idaho.

Bill Kristol, founder and editor to the Weekly Standard, denounced the move. “This president has surely gotten upper tier in terms of power grabbing,” said Kristol. While he said that he understood the lack of interest in Idahoan maidens, he also suggested that if the president is going to exercise the right, he ought to be democratic about it and include all states.

Democrats were more circumspect. Edward Gresser, head of the Democratic Leadership Council, mentioned to supporters in a weekly newsletter that the President would probably not use the right to excess, and anyway would surely use protection.

Democrats overwhelmingly support the president on this matter. In an overnight Gallup poll, 77% of Democrats expressed “go-for-it-man” approval, while an additional 16% expressed mild envy. 4% expressed uncertainty about anything involving the French, but said that they would vote for the president in November anyway. 1% disapproved but felt the president might be “overdue” and said that they would vote for the president in November anyway, as Romney could not be trusted. 1% had no opinion but said that they would vote for the president in November anyway. The remaining 1%, said Gallup, is a rounding error, but that it too would vote for the president in November.

It was not clear at time of this writing how the president would interpret droit du seigneur in light of his recent statement in support of gay marriage.