Conrad Burns, Jon Tester … Round and round we go

I was walking down First Avenue North in Billings, Montana on election night, 1988. At that time I was a loyal Republican. I met a smiling man on the sidewalk. He was smoking a cigarette. I had voted for him that day. His teeth were nicotine yellow.  Even then, six feet under in delusional thinking, I thought “This is a cat who swallowed a canary.

Conrad Burns was nothing special. His managers spent many restless nights maneuvering to overcome his latest gaffes. He introduced bills he had not even read, voted sight unseen as instructed by staff. He held native Americans in contempt. He allowed a large building in Bozeman to be named after him for no good reason, a legacy to our corruption.

He wore both a business suit and cowboy hat at once. Neither became him. He was a complete phony.

But to my great surprise, in 2006 he lost out to an ever bigger phony, Jon Tester. Beef  on the hoof, Tester squeezed Burns out down at the end of the trough.

Now that Burns has died, it is time to saying something nice about him: He did get his teeth fixed. If Tester sheds a few pounds, I’ll say something nice about him too when he drops.

One thought on “Conrad Burns, Jon Tester … Round and round we go

  1. I once was in the elevator in the Yellowstone courthouse with Conrad alone. As we traveled back down to the 1st floor together I introduced myself and he recognized my families name. He asked me what I was doing wearing tennis shoes and shorts. Out of respect I resisted asking him why he looked like he was going to the Grand Old Opry.


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