I have known people who have done “immersion” in order to learn a foreign language, just dive in the deep end, live and eat with them, and the assumption is that you will pick it up. I doubt it works.
Along the same lines, we are going to be doing some immersion if our own. There is no easy way to introduce readers to the real world of “news” around them other than immersion. Here is how it works: Rock Stars and actors are trained and introduced into the culture, where they learn how to behave, lead fake lives, and to be believable as people they are not. They then fake their deaths, go underground for a while, and re-emerge as a fully-formed newscasters or pundits.
This is as surprising to us as anyone. I knew when I read Dave McGowan’s Weird Scenes in the Canyon for the third time, making a list of deaths, that those people were not dying for real. I thought perhaps they went to South America, or less glamorously just did 9 to 5 desk jobs after “death.” I did not understand that the music business, run by Intelligence, is a training ground for the news business, run by Intelligence.
So far we have given you, sometimes with help from outsiders, and always with whiners and bitchers crying it just ain’t so, the following:
- Bill Hicks became Alex Jones. He’s a conspiracy guy. Controversy swilled about us, but Straight nailed it with a dental analysis.
- Jimi Hendrix became Cornell West. He undermines philosophy. It is his job now.
- Rocker Duane Allman became heavy metal artist Lemmy Kilmister.
- Phil Hartman became Glenn Beck. Acting training taught him to cry on screen.
- Gary Hinman, whose talents were uncertain anyway, became Maury Povich, but I repeat myself.
- Pamela Courson became Barbara Walters, a later-life body switch.
- Brandon DeWilde became Thom Hartmann, who in reality loathes liberals and progressives.
- Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, the fake Columbine shooters, using fake names (as fake people do), became Matt Stone and Trey Parker, also fake names for the fake creators of South Park. Fake fake fake fake fake!
- Bobby Fuller became Bill O’Reilly, a fake singer turned fake pundit.
- David Box became Charlie Rose, so that the ‘thoughtful’ PBS set is kept in the dark too.
- Bruce Lee became Judge Lance Ito, totaling nailing the part.
- The Janis Joplin twins became the Amy Goodman twins. The mediocrity on display in music easily carried over to news.
So we move forward. We have not yet begun this outing process.
Today we unveil the latest Zombie, a fake musician who underwent a fake death and re-emerged as a fake liberal pundit. After I am done here you will understand why Come and Get It by Badfinger sounded like Paul McCartney (actually Mike, the twin and better singer). It was Mike McCartney! Badfinger was a fake group that needed fake vocals to go with fake instrumentation. Who better than fake Paul!
Pete Ham was a member of Badfinger. He apparently got depressed in 1975 and committed suicide. I would guess the reason was that there were not enough drugs around for an overdose, and no small planes available for a crash.
Are you catching anything there? It’s actually pretty obvious. After Ham’s fake death in 1975, he re-emerged ready-made as an American with a fake bio saying he was half-Jewish and half-Catholic. Here he is in his reincarnated form. He is risen like leavened bread!
Straight did the sweat labor here, but honestly, once I had a good look at Pete Ham, I knew instantly that we had our man, our latest Zombie, Bill Maher. Here are a couple of face splits, and don’t be misled, face splitting is a dead-on tool for outing fakes.
We have more, but that will do for now. If you look at that and do not see a Zombie, we cannot help you.
BIll Maher, we lift our finger to you!!!