“I also noted that the painting of DiCaprio outside of his house made him look almost exactly like Jack Nicholson. Most of you probably missed that, but I didn’t since I have written about it previously. There is a theory online that Leo is Jack’s son, though I didn’t come up with it. In that paper I guessed that they were related, but probably not as father/son. However, I read this latest reveal as Tarantino telling me I was wrong. I think he is telling us that Leo is indeed Jack’s son. That’s just my gut reaction, but as you may know my gut has proven to have amazing powers of perception.” (Miles Mathis, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood)
I have not seen Once Upon a Time, and am not familiar with the scene he is talking about. I would have left this alone, as I have no personal beef with Miles and like much of his work. However, that last line about “amazing powers of perception” left me with jaw dropped perhaps two inches. It also sent me to my photo files, as Leo DiCaprio is, or was, listed here as a Matt Damon lookalike.
All of this work from the past few years is collected in various files, so I can very quickly run faces side-by-side. It has been a while, but I did some work, and the problem that I encountered was that DiCaprio was not lining up well with Damon or any of the other Damon match-ups. He is, however, in near perfect alignment with Jack Nicholson.
So I see what others see. Goodness, just the hair is a giveaway, same part, same widow’s peak. But look around, see how many fathers and sons you know who look exactly alike. I know of none. Miles suggests a more distant relationship? My cousins and I do not remotely resemble one another. We don’t get closer, but more distant as we step away from genealogical lines.
Is what we see above, then, an indication that DiCaprio is Nicholson’s son? No! It means something else entirely.
Here’s another potential Son of Jack to test our own amazing powers of perception:
That’s Timothy Olyphant, maybe better known to us as Seth Bullock in Deadwood, or at least to me. I am most surprised at how hairlines and widow’s peaks manage to line up. I do not make that happen. It is just there.
Younger readers may not remember Roger Moore, who was for a long time James Bond. Note that even though imperfect, the hair of the two gentlemen wants to align.
That is Rock Hudson on the left. Facial angles make the chop look wider than it should. It is really difficult to find photos where people are looking straight at the camera. Hudson has a softer look, not the highly charged animal magnetism that Nicholson projects. Maybe that’s why they terminated the Hudson project in 1985.
And Brad Pitt. He often looks right at us. Don’t know why, but straight-on photos of him are abundant. He, like Jack, exudes confidence.
These facial alignments are not perfect, but I would place them all within 95% of one another. And that is close enough, because we know these men are not from the same families and that they are not twins, but that their facial plates line up almost precisely.*
Did Nicholson father all these famous actors? Of course not, no more than he is DiCaprio’s dad. Miles’ paper sent me on a mission, and I discovered more than I knew in the past. Things got moved around in my world quite a bit. I am not going to show any more photos here, but I will list some of the groups that look eerily alike that I am working on. I have much more work to do on this, so this is merely a map of where I am at now.
The Matt Damon Group contains Ben Affleck, Tom Brady, George Clooney, Russell Crowe, Tom Hanks, Jennifer Garner, Jimmy Kimmel, Greg Kinnear, Heath Ledger, Rob Lowe and Paul Newman. So far. Damon and Jimmy Kimmel have a thing, with Kimmel (have not watched in a while) saying at the end of his show that Damon was bumped due to time constraints. They know each other well, and Damon went so far as to pretend to be Tom Brady on the Kimmel show, completing the circle. These men are self-aware.
The Charlie Sheen Group is one I just picked up on this within the last year … Charlie is part of a group whose facial architecture turns up often. Members so far: Justin Bateman, Pierce Brosnan, Sean Connery, Kit Harrington (John Snow of Game of Thrones), Michael J. Fox, Julia Roberts. I notice two James Bond’s in this group along with John Snow, indicating to me that the Sheen group may be British in origin, while the Damon group, save Crowe, is American. Michael J. Fox is Canadian, but that is close enough.
Others who look remarkably alike: Inger Stevens and Emma Thompson; Jayne Mansfield and Betty White; Helen Mirren and Jennifer Lawrence; Judy Woodruff and Dalida. I have not been attune to these match-ups, so do not have many members as of this time. Hillary Swank appears to belong in the Mirren group, but the (botoxed?) lips are wrong. Seth McFarland belongs with Sheen, but is an odd-looking duck, so I left him out. Talulah Riley is in with Woodruff, but I just don’t have enough Woodruff work to make it convincing, even to me.
I can only theorize: Finding stars in the rubble of the human population is not easy. The producer spotting Lana Turner at the Woolworth soda fountain was just an invented backstory. Perhaps it is to save money, but they are somehow manufacturing stars.
I would imagine that when Brad Pitt was born, his parent(s) understood that he was going to be an actor, so that training started when he was very young. When he turned up in Thelma and Louise in 1991 (or before – that is my first memory of him), it was not a discovery, but rather a rollout. His career was preordained and launched; it was understood he would be big. As with all of the above, these people do not become famous by accident. They are selected from birth.
It is done by some unknown process, be it gene splicing or egg splitting. In that sense, they are related. They are given over to families who are seemingly real parents – for instance, Martin Sheen and his son Charlie look and sound a lot alike. So it appears that they are half from one person, and half from … test tube? A clone machine?
The word “clone” is probably inappropriate, but the only other one that comes to mind is “twin,” and that does not work either. That’s why I settled long ago on the expression “Bokanovsky Brats,” in reference to Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, or just Brats.
So please, let’s all put away our amazing gut perceptions, and take a closer look not just at the ones I’ve listed above, but all of Hollywood, along with Great Britain and Australia …and Sweden. Brats seem to come from everywhere. Help me understand how they came to be. It is not natural selection, it is not a golden ratio. It is something else that I am yet to come even close to understanding.
PS: Here is Jack Nicholson’s real son, Ray, the one of his five children that looks most like him:
As you can see, he resembles his father. He is not, like Leo DiCaprio, a perfect facial plate match. There aren’t many useful photos of him, so I settled on this one with head tilted upward (making everything difficult). That does not help but still, we get a general idea.
I aligned the tip of the noses. See that the eyes and lips do not align. The fact that Ray is smiling, Jack is not, does not affect placement of the eyes. They are close to the center of gravity as the head rotates forward and back. With head tilted back, the eyes should appear higher, not lower than Jack’s. The jaw and lower lip are affected by the head tilt, so it is hard to saw how they align. These guys look a lot alike, but Ray is not an exact replication. That is normal in true parentage.
Do I have amazing gut perception too? Do I? Do I?
*One flaw with this technique is that it relies on setting eye pupils at the same distance. That causes the apparent overall size of the head to shrink or expand. It could be that Jack Nicholson’s head is a balloon while Leo DiCaprio is a pinhead. But the technique works within limits. It needs to be further developed to come up with standards whereby I can measure relative skull size. But, alas, life is short.