I am an aging specimen fighting the rampages of time on my body. Hair has redirected itself inward, reemerging from the ears. The tummy sags, joints ache. I work out three times a week, running ten miles total and lifting and pushing and grunting and observing all those young bodies – look away! Look away! Time and gravity are winning.
I take daily doses of glucosamine for the joints. I have no idea if it works. But it doesn’t hurt me, they say. And, I take what I call “Scrabble” pills. (They help me beat my wife at that game, sometimes. About half the time.) These are otherwise known as Omega 3 fish oil tablets. They are all the rage. And they taught me something about our Internet.
There are a wide array of sources for the pills, and the cost can be anywhere from a lot for a few to a little for a lot. WalMart wants $9.00 for a thousand. But what’s a good pill? Which of them do what they say they do? This is America, so only one thing is for sure: Everyone is probably lying.
I did some Internet “research”. I went to various sources who say they have “compared” all of the pills on the market, and found “one” that was better than all the others. One came from New Zealand and had to be ordered by mail. Others had special mumbo-jumble-hocus-pocus light saber magic done to them, and were very expensive – $16.00 for 60 pills. Still others warned that “cheap” pills might be rancid, made from fish that had sat on the dock for a week, like Mrs. Paul’s Fish Sticks.
All I wanted was an objective source that had done some testing and gave an honest and non-self-promoting opinion on the worth of the various pills. It turns out there are two: Consumerlab.com, and Consumer Reports. But both require that you join and pay them money for these opinions. They are worthy, no doubt – no problem. But I only wanted one opinion on one product, and was not willing to pay $30 for it.
The Internet started out as a wonderful source of freely-shared information, and so it was hostile to the American way where everything is for sale and everybody lies. Advertisers are yet to find a way to make a dishonest buck on a regular basis on anything other than porn and books, but they are trying. Any venture now in quest of objective information is like a walk down the concourse at the local carnival – hucksters and barkers yelling at you from every booth. My foray into the Omega3 pill market showed me that the Internet is not very useful anymore. Advertising is winning out, useful information is dwindling and getting harder to find.
Regarding Omega3 pills, there was scads of useless information and outright lies, much of it masquerading as medically sourced.
But someone committed a sin. Someone broke the code. Someone put up an excerpt from a Consumer Reports piece on the pills. It said they are all pretty much the same. None of them will hurt you. If there is any good to be had from them, all of them offer that good. So when shopping, just buy the cheapest one. It took about half an hour to find this piece of information.
And once again, the local Food Co-op, supposedly offering us alternatives to all of the corporate food scams going on, is doing a scam of its own. They want $26.59 for 250 Scrabble pills. They insult us with wholesome fervor.