The Paula Deen Twins

Note to Reader: This blog post has been put “under review” as we have had growing pains in developing the technology we use to identify twins, replicas and zombies. The eyes behind the technology are getting better, so as you read this piece note that if you are troubled by its conclusions that we will be looking at it in more depth and with better eyes. For the time being, it is speculation.

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This one might seem a little random, but it is very important because it exposes another department of Intelligence you might not think of: The Food Network.

I initially suspected Cass Elliott of the Mamas and Papas became Paula Deen on a really weird hunch. I was watching an interview of comedian Bill Burr talking about Paula Deen as a $100 million dollar whale shortly after her racism scandal. I found it curious she was worth so much.

After I sent the Elliott/Deen matchup over to Mark, he looked it over and concluded that they were not the same person. However, he realized that both Elliott and Deen were twins, something we are finding is all too common nowadays.

One of the challenges in doing this matchup was finding a picture of one of the twins with a relaxed face.

Here is Twin #1 and Twin #2 with about a 10 degree difference in alignment.

Here is the alignment:

Some of you may be concerned that the 10 degree angle variance causes that misalignment. While there will be a small degree in differences, the alignment of the nose should not be off that much.

But I understand if there are some worries. Here is another alignment where the heads are more level.

In this matchup, Mark aligned the noses to show the degree of difference in the rest of the face. You may say that all of these differences are caused by one twin smiling much more widely. But that would be incorrect.

Stand in the mirror and smile with teeth. Notice what it does to your facial alignment. First thing is that it does not raise your nose, rather the tip of your nose straightens and becomes more parallel with the floor but the alignment stays the same. Next is that your eyes do not move up and down at all. Your chin flattens but does not move down much. The only real change in alignment is in the lips.

Now take your teethy smile and open your mouth the way Deen #2 does on the right. The only change in alignment you will see besides the lips is that your jaw drops.

Knowing this, you will understand the differences we see above. The only misalignment we should see should be in the lips and chin. In the picture above, look how much the eye on Twin #1 is misaligned.

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So what is the purpose of Paula Deen, and why the fake scandal?

In preparation for this post I began watching some videos of Deen’s cooking show. Always in a home kitchen, low-key, warm and inviting, with a touch of a folksie Southern accent. A real lady next door type of character.

She became famous for constantly throwing in a stick of butter in her recipes. This became one of her calling cards and punchlines during late night shows. This begins to tie her in with Guy Fieri, a household name (perhaps a reassignment?) famous for loving greasy food. Deen has also written a children’s cookbook loaded with recipes high in fat, salt, and sugar. Perhaps the Food Network promotes these unhealthy recipes to contribute to poor diets across the country? The worse the diet, the higher the cancer rates, the higher the obesity, and the higher the overall unhappiness level. Who benefits? The healthcare and pharmaceutical industry and consumerism in general.

But it goes deeper than that. As always, money is only the tip of the iceberg and we find social engineering at work. Reading some mainstream mags, the story being told is that she became famous post-9/11 as Americans turned to comfort food to heal their increased stress and anxiety. Then came the famous racism scandal where Deen was accused of screaming the N-word while working with a black employee at one of her restaurants. What came next was her show getting cancelled and the loss of all her promotions. Now every news article begins with “Disgraced host Paula Deen”.

Knowing that she is twins, we know that she is a manufactured character and the true colors of the Powers That Be begin to show. After increasing the country’s anxiety levels with a fake terrorist event in 9/11, they introduce unhealthy comfort food to the public to sooth their manufactured anxiety. Once Deen became firmly entrenched as a trusted source for food, she became involved in a fake racial scandal which portrays her as a bigot. This does several things. On a more shallow level it increases tensions between blacks and white and blackwashes the folksie, white, polite Southern lady stereotype. Add distrust to a universally trusted archetype. On a deeper level, it adds a hint of shame to all of Deen’s recipes and to the term “comfort food”. Not only will people continue to eat unhealthy comfort food to cope with the unnecessary anxiety (rather than meditating or taking deep breaths or quitting their job or turning off the news) but with every bite, somewhere in their unconscious will be a guilt associated with Paula Deen. It’s not enough that you are doing the unhealthy activity that they want you to do, they want you uncomfortable while seeking your comfort.