A couple of matters, and I need to do this quickly. Our Internet signal degrades as people awake and turn on their devices. I can already see things slowing down at 7AM MDT. Later in the day, as people turn on streaming services and little Johnny decides to do some gaming with his friends, our signal will be so intermittent as to be unusable.

This has always been the problem we face with Centurylink (CL) Internet service. We moved here in 2010, and at that time CL offered 1.5 mps, and oddly, that was all we needed. Our TV was supplied by DirectTV, and we did no streaming. For a brief period we switched to a company that beamed their signal from a nearby mountain. The installation technician said that day that signals could range as high as 7 mps, but he was lying. It was 1.5 mps. The company cut back all of its clients to that level to allow for more customers and to make a few more $$$. Since that was all that CL offered, no one up here in the foothills had choice. The dish on our front porch was ugly, so we gave it back to them and went back to CL.

Continue reading “Updates …” →

What Dave refers to as “highpointing” is known to me as “peak bagging.” The object is to reach the highest point in all fifty states. Some, like Florida or Delaware, you can drive to. Others, like Gannett (Wyoming) or Denali, formerly McKinley (Alaska) require great effort, skill, courage, and specialized equipment. My older brother Steve was a Peak Bagger, but he never got to Denali or Hawaii’s Mauna Kea, as he simply did not have time. Denali especially can be a challenge – think of being holed up in your tent for days at a time waiting for the weather to clear. He did manage to do the lower 48. He told me once of coming down from Ranier in Washington in a state of hallucination, dehydrated and physically exhausted. After that, the next day, he and his two companions decided – “What the hell. Let’s go do Elbert too!” That is the highest peak in Colorado, one that I have done. It is a “walk-up”, albeit a 4,000+ feet walk-up with two false summits. (I regard the words “false summit” as the two ugliest words in the English language.) So they drove from Seattle to Colorado the next day, and if I got the story right, jogged up Elbert.

I would say “I don’t get that”, but I do. I am just not motivated in that manner. But I do know that when we, all of us, set out to do something hard, even dangerous, and we accomplish the task, be it highpointing or rafting a dangerous river, what follows is a great sense of satisfaction. With peak bagging, it starts with an adrenaline rush, and ends with that sense of accomplishment. I do indeed get it.

Dave writes of climbing Mt. Borah, the highest point in Idaho. I warn you that he uses foul language, as real people do when in the wilderness. That does not fucking bother me.
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Chicken Out? Panda Mayor? What Gives?

By: DS Klausler

I was in the saloon a couple of weeks ago and had arrived “late” according to The Guys already present – uh huh, sure – it was just 3:50pm on a Friday. The usual rambling discussion of past events was ongoing. A relatively new User to the Tall Tale Club was present and they had meandered to hiking stories – he had never strapped on the big package, or ventured up high enough to challenge flatlander breathing. Specifically, they were speaking of a hike that had a lasting impact on me. Coincidentally, my dental hardware buddy[i] had recently commented out of the blue on the very same location; I didn’t even think to ask from whence the intrigue originated – ding for me. I probably had mentioned it offhanded in one of my [verbal] reports upon return from the trip – I do this following most outdoor adventures. However, I usually write up a brief trip report with as little as long bullet points; this trip generated vocal expansion of the story line. Even more so, this trip warranted this essay. Let me first assure you that no, I do not speak this way professionally, nor would I at your wedding… but certainly at my own funeral (I’ve got skills[ii]).

Continue reading “The Klausler Chronicles: Highpointing” →

Several days ago, we had a perfect storm of sorts. On the very same day our Internet went down, and our microwave over fizzled as well. Gadzooks! Zounds!

To make a short story long … nah, details do not matter. We now have Internet, and while a replacement for our old GE Profile microwave would have cost $479 at Best Buy, a $70 model at Target would have to do. The cupboard space for the Profile is 24x12x12, and only a very few machines fit in that space, but to save $409, we will make do. This is the second time that GE Profiles have failed on us.

Continue reading “To make a short story long …” →

Note: The short story below came to me via email from Dave, along with a warning that it was 39 pages (double spaced) if I would not mind reading it. Dave Klauser is a friend of the blog, and if he wishes he can tell you more about himself in the comments. The thing that grabbed me immediately about this story was that I was familiar with the landscape, as was Dave. The trail head, Lady of the Lake, was the very first hike I did with my brothers in the Absaroka Beartooth Wilderness, maybe 1960 or earlier. I was very young, maybe ten years or less. Dave has the trails, the lakes and peaks correct, and writes as a skilled outdoorsman. As the story unfolded I realized I was in a cliffhanger. It’s a page turner.

This is a completely new twist for the blog. I am happy to run this piece for Dave. I hope the story grips you as much as it did me. I hope if anyone reading this who might have any dusty manuscripts sitting around, that you send them along. Just for fun, as this blog is and always will be non-monetized. If there is a running blog theme here, it is that Mark gets repetitive and needs assistance, and others to provide it.

Enjoy Dave’s writing. He is very good.,

MT

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Appreciated Assistance

By DS Klausler

I awoke.

As I listened intently, I determined that I had not heard such a sound–ever. Ah yes… growling. Not human; guttural. Now loud; yes: feeding. No… an attack. Wait, now human… screaming–male. Gurgling.

Whatever; I suited up. Wailing; human. Thrashing and growling; must be a bear. Yes. Crying. Moaning. Silence.

Continue reading “Appreciated Assistance, a short story …” →

I am of the opinion that the celebrities who attempt to infest and suffocate our fantasy life are all planned for royal bastards. By royal bastards I mean the off the books progeny of the hidden hands in the cap stone we never see. Just below the cap are these blood loyal whelps who pose as various personae to keep us enthralled and distracted while the inbred lizards behind the curtain practice their black arts.
Um-

Todays subject may not appear to be all that relevant given the cascade of evil befalling us at the moment but I think it is a good example of how even the illegitimate strands of these bloodlines carry on in service to their Satan.
Jeez- calm down!

Many people over time have asked this question: How can a nobody from the Austrian sticks become, even for a brief duration, the most powerful and dangerous man on planet Earth?
I’m talking about Adolf Hitler, of course, and the answer I like best is: If you are a Rothschild you can.

Continue reading “The Hitler Project: Hitler’s Old Man” →

Some time ago I asked for home remedies regarding a ligament problem in my right ankle. I tried a couple, including DMSO, to no avail. Physical therapy made only a temporary difference. While in Alaska, I quit wearing the brace, as it seemed to make no difference. The discomfort, mild anyway, with or without it was the same. I took to heart the words of the Mayo Clinic website, that eventually, it will heal.

Continue reading “About that ankle” →

My wife and I are in our seventies now, and each of us is trim. That doesn’t just happen, however. It takes great effort.

First, we had to understand the nature of body weight – why it accumulates, where it accumulates. There are a lot of fad diets, from starvation (and accompanying psychosis) to vegan. In between are things that sell books, like South Beach and Caveman. I cannot speak for my wife, as we each cook for ourselves and eat differently. For myself, I long ago settled on what is now called “Keto,” short for ketosis.

If you wake up in the morning with “morning breath,” you are in ketosis, that is, fat-burning mode. Often during the night our bodies run short on carbohydrates and convert to that mode. This is the essence of Keto, to force our bodies into fat-burning mode, not just as we sleep, but 24/7.

Continue reading “It’s official now: I have lived too long” →