Unknown to NASA itself, the Center for an Informed America (CIA) had installed wiretaps in the offices of the Johnson Space Center in Houston, right around the time of the Watergate affair. There was a tiny microphone tucked away and held in place in the ceiling of the office of Administrator Richard Truly. They used Velcro.
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Date: July 20, 1994, 9:00 AM
Meeting participants: Richard Truly, NASA Administrator, James Jesus Engle, Deputy Administrator, Carl Severinsen (Doc), Press Secretary, William Gates III, Deputy Assistant
Truly: Gentlemen, before we start, and I offer refreshments? Coffee? Would anyone care for some Tang? OK, then. I called this meeting today because of some troubling news from our deputy, Mr. Gates. Bill, do you want to bring us up to speed?
Gates: Well, I don’t think it will ever amount to much, or at least I’ve stayed away from the meetings, but my staffers are telling me that things are bubbling, so to speak, and a thing called Innertube is beginning to take hold of the communications system. Again, I’m pretty sure it’s a non starter, but I did brief Dick Truly this morning, and he saw cause for concern.
Engle: Innertubes? Don’t you mean Internet, Bill?
Gates: Right, Internet. Anyway, this Internet is a way of communicating by sending pictures over electric wires. And the funny thing is, anything can be a picture, even printed words. So I could sit down at my desk right now and type a message, and send it to all of you, and you’d get it and I’d never be able to get it back. I can send it to anyone who is hooked up.
Truly: As I told Bill, I don’t see a problem with that. Hell, I send out memos every day and people sign off on them. But this Internet thing is different.
Gates: Well, that’s why I brought my assistant today, Jim Engle. He’s a little bit more up to speed.
Engle: Right, gentlemen. We’ve been looking at this system, this Internet, and we think it might be something hard to control. For instance, I could send to all of you a photo of Hillary Clinton, naked as a jay bird, and she could not stop it from going out, and even President Clinton himself could not prevent it from spreading around. And, once it goes out, you can never get it back!
Severinsen: That’s a little disturbing, Jim. But you see, gentlemen, we might have a problem, you know, with this Moon business. Just in this room, no one says a word, like always, but we want to get ahead of this thing.
Truly: How do we do that?
Severinsen: Photos, Dick. Photos of our guys on the Moon.
Truly: We don’t have any.
Severinsen: I know, Dick. That’s the problem. But we still have that mockup out there in the desert, that big frickin’ warehouse where we shot the landing. We could dust it off, get some guys in space suits, and take some photos now. You know, spruce them up. Say we’ve had them all along, but access was limited to historians and journalists.
Engle: That’s a problem, Doc. We have the space suits and all of that stuff, The lander is still there, hell, we even have a buggy just sitting there. But the astronauts, they’ve all aged twenty-five years. They’ve gained weight, their faces are different. They look twenty-five years older!
Gates: How about this – we do this sometimes with perfume when we sell it. We put gold leaf film over the bottle to make it seem expensive, and so you can’t see the inside. It’s just some amber colored spray. We could spray the visors on the space suits so no one can see inside. We’ll say it’s Armstrong and Buzz. Who’s gonna know?
Truly: Sounds good, Billy, but I see another problem here, guys. Stars. It’s just a big warehouse. There’s no stars visible. We can’t paint them on the ceiling or hang them from the rafters like a high school homecoming. And, people are gonna want to see how the Earth looks from the Moon. How are we going to fake that?
Engle: Worse yet, you’ve got all those goddamned amateur astronomers, and real ones too, and those shitheads will look at them and tells us they are in the wrong place! We’re NASA, fer chrissakes! We’re supposed to know where the stars are located.
Severinsen: How about this: We say that the cameras the guys used, the Hasslebocks …
Truly: Hasselblads, Doc. Hasselblads.
Severinsen: Whatever. We’ll say they had to be adjusted because of glaring sunlight, and the exposures could only pick up surface features. No stars.
Gates: Do you think people will buy that?
Severinsen: We’re NASA. We can sell it. I’ll get the guys down in the press room start writing up the official story of the landing and return, and have them fill in details like that. I have some good writers down there. Also, they’ve got this writing system they use in Star Trek, you know the TV shows, where the writers do the dialogue and the plot, but when it comes time to talk about space ships and space travel and equipment and science, they have a couple of other writers they send it to, and they leave it blank and have other writers fill in what they call “techspeak”. It’s gobbledygook like warp drive, flux capacitors, tractor beams, that sort of thing. They turn out a nice product. So can we.
Truly: OK. Get them on it, Doc. Time is a factor here. Can we get a photo crew up in the next couple of months to do shoot in Arizona? Get all the NDAs lined up? And then, I’ll make some phone calls, but maybe we can run them by our friends in Hollywood to spruce them up.
Gates: OK, here’s a problem too. Supposedly we sent seven missions out there, you know, the one flubbed. To do that sort of thing requires records, you know, magnetic tape of the TV footage and the dialogue and all of that. Hell, we had 50 display computer monitors with guys in white shirts and ties supposedly tracking everything. We don’t have anything like that!
Severinsen: I got this covered. We’re NASA. We can sell it. Make up a number, any number, preferably a big one.
Engle: 6,000.
Severinsen: Think big, Jim, bigger!
Engle: 33,000.
Severinsen: Don’t get cute, Jim.
Gates: 14,304.
Severinsen: I like this guy! Now you’re getting it! But that’s too specific. Let’s use 14,000.
Engle: 14,000 what?
Severinsen: Think, guys, Think! We’re NASA. What do we do? Moon landings. We keep records of everything! Magnetic tapes, gentlemen, Magnetic tapes. Every detail of the Moon landings is on those tapes.
Truly: We don’t have 14,000 tapes. We don’t have any!
Severinsen: That’s because we lost them, Dick! We lost them!
Gates: What the … who’s gonna believe that?
Severinsen: We’re NASA. Everyone will believe us!
Gates: It’s hard to lose that many tapes.
Severinsen: Think, gentlemen, think! NASA does not lose tapes. We are in the business of saving taxpayer dollars. We reused the tapes! We wrote over the old data. We didn’t think we’d need it again. We’ll say we put it all down on paper anyway.
Gates: What if someone wants to see the paperwork?
Severinsen: We’ll stonewall them. Humidity problems, too dry here in Texas, stored in Minnesota in humidity-controlled vaults. Shit like that. We can hold off most of them, and then let a couple of our guys in on the business see them. Maybe Rather, maybe even Cronkite. They’re good soldiers.
Truly: Fucking brilliant! That I can sell.
Severinsen: Also, Hollywood is interested in the Moon stuff, and I think thirteen might be a good show. Maybe we can get Redford or Newman to act it out. That’s another topic, but movies sell more than popcorn. They sell ideas too.
Truly: OK, we’re going to power up the warehouse out in New Mexico, hire the camera crew and the actors, get the NDA’s, and shoot some lunar photos. We’re going to announce that all of the data saved on tapes was lost. We are going to be ready when the Innertubes, I mean, when the Internet is up and running. We’ll get our people lined up. Doc, are you on it?
Severinsen: On it!
Truly: Good. Gentlemen, we’ll meet every Thursday at noon right here. We’ll bring new hands as we need them in to sell this thing on the fine points, Van Allen, radiation, all that shit. We can sell it. We’re NASA.
Gates: OK, I’m aboard. But I still don’t think this Internet thing is going anywhere. I think it’s a dud.*
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*”As late as about 1994, people like say, Bill Gates, had no interest in the Internet. He wouldn’t even go to conferences about it, because he didn’t see a way to make a profit from it.” (Noam Chomsky, interview with Corpwatch, May, 1998)
Sharing with like-minded people through email AND reblogging it on my wordpress page (which does the same thing— ehhh?)
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I haven’t watched the “mountains” of archival material online, needless to say.. but it seems like it would be much harder to manufacture years later, especially if there’s audio of all the players. Maybe they were doing elaborate simulations at the time, as part of making it all as convincing as possible? Assuming this archival material is credible and plausible I mean – seems much more challenging to do at a later date.. I guess if they really don’t show their faces as you joke, it might be possible.
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I suspect actors inside the spacesuits, and also mannequins. There’s one in particular, where the Lunar Lander has a pole right by the stairway that we know the length of, so that we can measure the height of “Armstrong” standing beside it, who is less than 5 fee tall in one photo. (Think mannequin.) I’ve been trying to get Petra to look at this one, but it is detailed at Aulis, and you know, everything there, according to her, is a lie.
My take, they used actors, simulated the voice exchanges, and, for the buggy rides, used dummies. I don’t think it would be that difficult to fake, and that it was necessary anyway to fake it with the arrival of the Internet and the expectations that the photos and movies, which are public property, would have to go online.
While the whole of this post is just something I made up, I think there is something to it in that NASA had to act in advance of the arrival of the Internet to have photos on hand. They do have facilities and props. After all, they used props for the Armstrong/Aldrin affair “That’s one step” … Just as they can reassemble the Seinfeld set out of storage today, so can NASA reassemble the surface of the Moon.
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I’ll give our friend Petra some more homework she can take up with her NASA handlers: why are all the photos absolutely pristine, with zero signs of radiation damage? Photographic film is extremely sensitive to high energy radiation, such as X-rays, and one would expect standing on the moon, with no atmospheric protection, for the film and cameras to be subjected to a lot of this radiation, unless they were shielding their cameras with lead. If I recall isn’t there footage of the ‘nauts swapping film canisters on the moon surface?
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By the way, some have referred to training missions where astronauts simulated exchanges with ground control on pretend moon missions, which might be the source of the exchanges allegedly between them and houston.
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Great story Mark! Ha ha: We’re NASA, we can make it! LOL
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Thank you! Good to hear from you, Jan.
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Oops…. Not “we can make it” but “we can sell it” of course…
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And now the Artemis mission. Man, it’s absolutely ridiculous! Did you see the design of the orbit? It is REDICULOUS. Some kind of intergalactic space billiards game. The spaceship bounces miraculously to, around and from the planets. Witchcraft science!!
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Sounds interesting, what source do you like for that sort of mainstream space news?
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I don’t remember exactly which site showed me the nonsense at first, but it’s easy to find in you feed “artemis flight trajectory”
It’s some kind of magic path, gravity is the keyword. It spins the vessel as if bound by rubber bands.
Towards a planet = acceleration
Away from a planet = no signs of decelaration, the rubber band attraction is magically deactivated. It’s plain stupid.
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Link (example)
https://www.nasa.gov/image-article/artemis-ii-map-2/
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Thanks.. this link doesn’t describe the rubber band gravitational effects unfortunately, but I can see the comparison to a billiards game..
This is the one they already did, I think? It will be interesting how they handle the actual landing, whenever that is-
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No mainstream source I like. I don’t actively search for BS information, sometimes I stumble over it.
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This post was written quickly, and I have great admiration for “Doc” Severinson, the band leader for many years for Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show. His work on the trumpet is as inspiring as that of Louis (Satchmo) Armstrong. I’ll always have playing in the back of my mind the opening bars of Bobby Darin’s Mack the Knife. That trumpet in the background is Doc.
Richard Truly was NASA Administrator at that time, though I know nothing about him. James Jesus Engle is James Jesus Angleton, a notorious CIA spook who died in 1987. I just like the name. And, of course, William Gates III is our own Bill Gates, not at all part of the Apollo hoax. I wanted to bring him aboard because of the Chomsky quote at the end. It shows that as much as people read into him, there is less than meets the eye.
The Apollo photographs we have come to know were shot in advance of the Moon landing, somewhere in a large warehouse in some place I do not know. I have no doubt they’ve been supplemented since that time with others, as they are many, and the film stock, unlike the telemetry tapes, are said to exist in an environmentally protected state at NASA. In my opinion, NASA risked the whole Apollo project by adding a Lunar Rover to the already (in theory) overburdened Lunar Lander. Such nonsense, but people believe it, you know, because it’s NASA.
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I wonder how far in advanced they shot everything, then had to review it for obvious mistakes and to see if it was somewhat believable. Considering the temperatures, I can’t get past the flimsy equipment with “windows”….lol it’s comedy gold now.
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NASA after Apollo 11 had film that they handed out, and also throughout the missions. But we don’t know when it was shot. What you are really asking is when did NASA know that going to the Moon was impossible. Wehrner von Braun abandoned his Earth orbit plan for the Moon shot in 1962, and decided to support the Saturn lunar orbit program. He did not tell anyone in his circle that he was going to do that. I would suspect that to get him to change his mind, he had to have been convinced that it was all folly anyway, but that the Saturn program was worthy even if it never left LEO. For what reason I do not know.
I suspect Kennedy’s statement in 1961 to put a man on the Moon by the end of the decade was done with full knowledge that it was impossible and that some other game was afoot. He would also have known about his own fake assassination and that his ’61 words would be used to grow public support for whatever the hell they were up to. He would be a dead martyr.
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