I have accused our friend Dave Klausler of writing in a “JamesJoycian” style, not that I am that familiar with Joyce. But when I read this piece, I immediately honed in on the problem. Read this paragraph, taken from the section titled 2:43 PM, South Rim of Grand Canyon:
Wednesday morning, on the pay clock of course, I took a little time to examine lifestyle things for recent changes as I prepared for my 5:30am tea. MUTHERFUKKER! Staring at me, from my drawer was Fresh Thyme Organic Black Tea. [For at least a decade I had been drinking regular old Lipton, 5:30am & 9:00am weekdays, 8:00am Saturday, early Sunday. Sometimes a half-gallon iced during Saturday chores (wired up!).
Are you seeing the problem? He does not drink coffee! Consulting a medical case reference guide, I find that the symptoms of coffee deprivation are as follow:
- Spinning head, lack of balance
- Mysterious rashes around the mouth
- Cold sweats
- A Jamesjoycian meandering style of writing
- Tourette Syndrome
- A craving for dark chocolate
- Frequent flashbacks to sounds from earlier in life, such as song lyrics
- Wandering about the country in search of something non-specific
Jerry Seinfeld went the better part of his life without drinking coffee, and even so noticed every small picayune thing going on in the world while missing the big stuff. But he got his head on straight, picked up a big coffee habit, and developed a show (for the Crackle Network- as he says, Snap and Pop were not yet in business) called Comedians in Cars Drinking Coffee. It was a refreshing success. I suggest we do not yet know Dave, and will not until he learns how to indulge in morning drip.
MT
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