I was passively watching a rerun of Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday while fiddling with something else, when he announced that New England quarterback Tom Brady was on. Right away I thought spoof, and as the door opened and a fully clad football player walked out, I instantly knew, even before the big reveal, that it was Matt Damon.
The reason I knew this is because of the work we we have done here at POM, especially Straight’s work on the Matt Damon Batch. For reasons we don’t yet understand, a large number of A-list Hollywood males stars (and one female) bear a freakishly strong resemblance to Matt Damon. At the same time, they are all easily distinguishable. Their facial features line up precisely. There is difference in ear size and location and skull size, but other than that, they are … not twins … not duplicates … we do not know.
I suggested we call them “Bokanovsky Brats” after the cloning process described in Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. However, that presumes too much. We don’t know that cloning is going on, or selective breeding or in vitro processes for replication of selective traits. Perhaps Hollywood merely scours the population for handsome lookalikes. Is it all makeup magic? Are the photos not to be trusted? Maybe they constructed a profile of the classical handsome man, and search for those features in the general population.
Whatever is going on, this appearance of an actor who so strongly resembles Tom Brady on the Kimmel show indicates to me that there is inside knowledge in show business of the resemblance. Maybe it is just a rumor mill, or perhaps they know the origins of these people, be it a test tube or a horse farm in Kentucky or bastard factory in Manila. Maybe that is why NSA is spying on us – looking for clones. Or maybe the Kimmel show is eavesdropping on us and reading our behind-the-scenes email.
But add this to the mix Matt Damon’s pedigree (alleged anyway, as I do not do this kind of research and cannot vouch for it):
Add another factor – we often find that famous people have manufactured identities – Jim Morrison, John Denver, Taylor Swift, John Lennon, Anderson Cooper, Janis Joplin – are not members of the families given us by Wikipedia. So this is highly speculative work, and nailing down Damon’s bloodline, as done above, assumes his name is real and that he is not just another manufactured screen image.
That in tow, let’s take a look at Damon and Brady side by side:
Eyes are set to one inch on each, gaze is forward, head angles are the same. Here is a face chop:
Good grief! Yes the ears are off, but the skull shape, eye mouth and hairline alignment are near dead on. Of course they are not twins, and are aging differently. They are different people – one is an actor given every opportunity to succeed, who reads scripts and acts out his part, often being cast in a superhero role.
The other is Matt Damon.
Just for fun, I am going to throw two more face chops at you and let you figure out who they are, one a famous Hollywood star, the other a world-famous athlete:
If we knew what was up with this, we would share it with you.
PS: Holy S***: Just on a whim I ran Damon against Jimmy Kimmel. The circle completes.